I need to restart doing things I love to do. I am becoming a lazy bum who works too much. My life has become ruled by a computer. I sit about 8 hours in my office, working. Answering emails, writing reports, writing up schedules and plans for activities and another day camp. Day Camp, that sounds like fun right? Well the day of it is, I actually get to get out of this darned four walled, paper filled cage, and do something outside. But until then I am pretty stuck inside. This has turned me into a pretty lazy person I have discovered. You know they say a body in motion stays in motion, well it seems that works the other way too, a body not in motion, continues to not move. My job may not be physically demanding or draining, but mentally I am usually wiped at the end of the day. And so by the time I get home I just want to lunge around, and at night usually get back on that cursed computer to talk to friends.
For the past year this has become my life, luckily this job is a one year thing and I shall be going back to school this fall. But stagnancy does not work for me, I can not do basically the same thing everyday, I need change, I need variety! A routine is fine yes, but even in that there is usually some small thing that is different everyday. I need to get my butt up and start doing things I love again. I took a Yoga class in school for a gym credit, that was amazing, but I haven't done any since school got it. There is one thing I need to start doing again. Rollerblading I haven't done that in years, need to do that. Crocheting, I have a blanket I started a year and a half ago, it hasn't gotten any farther since then. Drawing, I used to draw lots, now I never do, time and laziness has stopped me.
I am just simply tired, worn out, and ready for change, ready for people my age and at a similar maturity level. I've discovered with this job, that I will never be a teacher when I am older, I just can't handle the lack of maturity of kids sometimes on a daily basis. Through this entire year, I have not met one new person that was my age, all were younger or older.
So what is on my list of to-dos? Change things need to change above all. Rollerblades, luckily my birthday is coming up so I can get some as a present, finish that cursed blanket, start doing yoga again, and start drawing again.
Luckily this long-needed change has already begun on its own. Reading was something I lost the time to do with my first year of college and then this full-time job, but I've slowly managed to work that aspect back into my life and I am so glad I have. Roleplaying has always been a bit of passion for me. I had the worst case of writers block for almost a month. There was an amazing rp that I was in that died, and inspiration disappeared, I think because I was still in the mode to continue that rp. But now I've found a new one that shall be interesting and is difference, but it shall also present me with a challenge. The literacy level is a bit higher than I usually take part in and I hope I will be able to overcome this challenge and it will just make my writing better.
Summer has also finally come, our world has been shrouded in clouds recently, first the long season of winter, and then all this cool weather and rain this spring, we finally have a day where the sun is partially peaking out and my mood has increased greatly.
So things are slowly changing, thankfully, but I still want it to come sooner. And I just am excited to get back to being me. I am a student at heart, school is something I've always liked, and taking this year off has fully shown me that truth, and these next two months of this job seem like it is such a long time, but at the same so little. And though I am ready to move on there are still things I need to accomplish before this job has finished.
Monday, June 27, 2011
Monday, January 31, 2011
Dull Moments
Well the past few weeks have been pretty dull around here; I don't know if it is due to the grey clouds and not so pleasant weather as of late or what, but my life has pretty much been nothing but work, school, and homework. Sounds pretty invigorating don't it XP. It has also been a classic Monday so far too, nothing important or urgent needs to get done, nothing surprising or amazing has happened, it has just simply been Monday.
I can't say I can complain, nothing horrible has happened, but things have been rather boring and well when nothing is happening and the only good thing is that nothing horrible has happened, that also means that nothing really good is happening. Though I suppose I can't rule out 2 things that have happened that are pretty awesome, they have provided a bit of excitement in these past grey winter days. First I get to go to Florida this spring to go see my aunt and uncle so that will be awesome and I can't wait to get a nice early tan from that trip. Secondly my friend got a 3 month old pug over the weekend and he is pretty dang cute. Despite all the snorting noises he makes, and the fact that pugs were deliberately bred to be incapable of surviving without humans XD.
It is also getting to that point in winter where I am restless and tired of the same everyday routine, I wanna either go do something exciting and fun or stay home and do nothing. I am probably making winter sound like the worst season in the world, which it isn't, it's awesome for the first month or so; but once you reach the second half it turns more to ice and you start getting pretty tired of skating around the roads in your car. I'd say the roads are the worst part of winter, this winter especially, all back roads have been nothing but ice, which makes driving so stressful and annoying. I am so ready for nice clear roads where I don't have to worry about sliding into the middle of traffic or sliding into another car or ditch as I make a turn to get to work. Monotone weather just messes everything up, especially when there's ice involved.
Well this is my little rant for now I think, it has been a while since I last posted, but like I said there really has not been a lot to report about lately.
So see you next rambling :D
I can't say I can complain, nothing horrible has happened, but things have been rather boring and well when nothing is happening and the only good thing is that nothing horrible has happened, that also means that nothing really good is happening. Though I suppose I can't rule out 2 things that have happened that are pretty awesome, they have provided a bit of excitement in these past grey winter days. First I get to go to Florida this spring to go see my aunt and uncle so that will be awesome and I can't wait to get a nice early tan from that trip. Secondly my friend got a 3 month old pug over the weekend and he is pretty dang cute. Despite all the snorting noises he makes, and the fact that pugs were deliberately bred to be incapable of surviving without humans XD.
It is also getting to that point in winter where I am restless and tired of the same everyday routine, I wanna either go do something exciting and fun or stay home and do nothing. I am probably making winter sound like the worst season in the world, which it isn't, it's awesome for the first month or so; but once you reach the second half it turns more to ice and you start getting pretty tired of skating around the roads in your car. I'd say the roads are the worst part of winter, this winter especially, all back roads have been nothing but ice, which makes driving so stressful and annoying. I am so ready for nice clear roads where I don't have to worry about sliding into the middle of traffic or sliding into another car or ditch as I make a turn to get to work. Monotone weather just messes everything up, especially when there's ice involved.
Well this is my little rant for now I think, it has been a while since I last posted, but like I said there really has not been a lot to report about lately.
So see you next rambling :D
Wednesday, January 19, 2011
Ramble
So life is going well I'd say for now. School has started again, so my level of busy-ness has risen a bit. Only have two classes, but with a full-time job, where you work late makes it hard to find time for homework without staying up at all hours of the night. But the classes are interesting so that helps.
My online addiction is finally back up, it is called Wolf-Haven, it got hacked about a month ago so it has been down since then until this past weekend. Basically what you do is you have a wolf character and you work to level your character on a map where you hunt and you get xp for having a successful hunt. You can also join packs and find a mate, which if you do they help in attacks. It's really a fun game and well made. So my boredom is filled with leveling on that site, so when it disappeared I didn't know what to do with myself XD.
Not a lot is going on in my life or really has happened, so not totally sure how long this post is going to be...But from my last post I told you about my friend situation and all communication has pretty much been severed with him, I talked to him a little bit after that fateful text mainly to try and understand everything, (it annoys me when I don't), and after that things have been left to silence.
This week my energy level has officially plummeted, I am getting enough week, but my low back has decided to hate me so that makes things difficult. But this is really all i have for now so see ya next post :D
Click to Check out Wolf-Haven
My online addiction is finally back up, it is called Wolf-Haven, it got hacked about a month ago so it has been down since then until this past weekend. Basically what you do is you have a wolf character and you work to level your character on a map where you hunt and you get xp for having a successful hunt. You can also join packs and find a mate, which if you do they help in attacks. It's really a fun game and well made. So my boredom is filled with leveling on that site, so when it disappeared I didn't know what to do with myself XD.
Not a lot is going on in my life or really has happened, so not totally sure how long this post is going to be...But from my last post I told you about my friend situation and all communication has pretty much been severed with him, I talked to him a little bit after that fateful text mainly to try and understand everything, (it annoys me when I don't), and after that things have been left to silence.
This week my energy level has officially plummeted, I am getting enough week, but my low back has decided to hate me so that makes things difficult. But this is really all i have for now so see ya next post :D
Click to Check out Wolf-Haven
Monday, January 10, 2011
It's over
It's done, finished, the end, never going to be the same again. In my last post I talked about the friend of mine that had changed and we had a fight and the whole situation surrounding it. Well that little tiny flame of hope that everything was going to be fixed and we could go back to being chums like we've always been has been officially snuffed out by one simple text. My other friend had already said her goodbye to him, but I still held some hope that he would come back. Like I said I am stubborn and I dislike giving up, especially on people that I care about. So I finally asked the question of whether our friendship was really going to end like this. His response was longer than a simple yes, but to summarize his answer: Yes I am going to let our friendship end this way.
At that point it thoroughly hit me that it's over, he's never coming back. This pain is similar to loosing someone to the grips of death, yet is different in the fact that I don't fully understand. Why he would give up on something like this so easily? There is also the fact that I know right now he is down in the cities doing his own thing and I fear that the pain I feel, he does not.
As before the saying "the world goes round" pops into my head and I realize I need to move on from this, which sadly is both hard, but easier than it should be; though I still am unable to read his final text again yet.
I guess at this point I just need to say my goodbyes and let go.
Thursday, January 6, 2011
Where does it go?
It has been a while since I posted anything on here, but i suppose that happens when your busy and a cold puts you down for the count for about a week; damn cold season. But besides that Christmas was good, got to hang with family, received more than enough presents and one of my cousins got engaged so that is exciting.
Life though has somewhat of a different plan I suppose, everything was fairly good and then a friend that moved to the cities about a year ago, proved how much a person can change in a year and not for the good. He used to be our best friend, (we have a little gang of friends and we are all very close), and when he first moved down he still stayed in contact every so often even if he was just on messenger for an hour or so. But as time progressed his absence became bigger and his reliability of coming up to visit dwindled. Even when he was up here his presence was almost none existent, we'd hang, but he was always texting someone from the cities or talking about some game that he played with other friends now. Well things grew and he became busy and his presence disappeared. It became blatantly obvious something was up and he realized sent an explanation of how busy he was why he wasn't always able to come when he said he could and I gave him the understanding he needed, cause as we all know shit happens. He asked how he could make things better with us and he seemed like he really wanted to. And the simplest thing he needed to do was to simply work on his communication and talk to us. Which simply could have been getting on messenger even for just an hour once a week would make a difference. But this simple task apparently has proven to be too hard for him.
He came up for us to meet his new boyfriend and things blew up from there, what he promised to be almost a whole day of hanging with him was turning into an hour at a coffee shop, which than got pushed to nothing, because of some stupid excuse that came up. We had finally had enough and the fight took place. We explained what we were upset with, and he still didn't seem to understand. He has yet to talk to us after that and that fact right there proves how much he has changed, if this happened even 6 months ago, he would have showed up at our friends house where we were hanging out to talk to us and explain what was wrong or at least have texted us or called us to talk about it by now. You never realize how much a person can change until they do and the sad part is I am not even that upset at loosing him, a part of me is still hoping he will show up and talk about it, and another part realizes that the person that was my friend disappeared a while ago and it is only the vessel that held that person that I am loosing.
This happened about a week ago and has been followed by my bank account dwindling from 150 bucks to 15 due to one book I needed for school and my laptop battery has officially died which means i need to spend 150 bucks to replace it. The only silver lining currently is the fact that everything else is going good, this fight has brought the rest of us closer, i get to get a better battery, and i appreciate it that this happens all at once, instead of being dragged out for months on end.
So this is what has happened in my life most recently, there really is not a whole lot left to say, so Guten Tag and I'll post whenever.
Life though has somewhat of a different plan I suppose, everything was fairly good and then a friend that moved to the cities about a year ago, proved how much a person can change in a year and not for the good. He used to be our best friend, (we have a little gang of friends and we are all very close), and when he first moved down he still stayed in contact every so often even if he was just on messenger for an hour or so. But as time progressed his absence became bigger and his reliability of coming up to visit dwindled. Even when he was up here his presence was almost none existent, we'd hang, but he was always texting someone from the cities or talking about some game that he played with other friends now. Well things grew and he became busy and his presence disappeared. It became blatantly obvious something was up and he realized sent an explanation of how busy he was why he wasn't always able to come when he said he could and I gave him the understanding he needed, cause as we all know shit happens. He asked how he could make things better with us and he seemed like he really wanted to. And the simplest thing he needed to do was to simply work on his communication and talk to us. Which simply could have been getting on messenger even for just an hour once a week would make a difference. But this simple task apparently has proven to be too hard for him.
He came up for us to meet his new boyfriend and things blew up from there, what he promised to be almost a whole day of hanging with him was turning into an hour at a coffee shop, which than got pushed to nothing, because of some stupid excuse that came up. We had finally had enough and the fight took place. We explained what we were upset with, and he still didn't seem to understand. He has yet to talk to us after that and that fact right there proves how much he has changed, if this happened even 6 months ago, he would have showed up at our friends house where we were hanging out to talk to us and explain what was wrong or at least have texted us or called us to talk about it by now. You never realize how much a person can change until they do and the sad part is I am not even that upset at loosing him, a part of me is still hoping he will show up and talk about it, and another part realizes that the person that was my friend disappeared a while ago and it is only the vessel that held that person that I am loosing.
This happened about a week ago and has been followed by my bank account dwindling from 150 bucks to 15 due to one book I needed for school and my laptop battery has officially died which means i need to spend 150 bucks to replace it. The only silver lining currently is the fact that everything else is going good, this fight has brought the rest of us closer, i get to get a better battery, and i appreciate it that this happens all at once, instead of being dragged out for months on end.
So this is what has happened in my life most recently, there really is not a whole lot left to say, so Guten Tag and I'll post whenever.
Monday, December 20, 2010
Give me some ice
Getting an implant officially does suck. If you've ever had your wisdom teeth taken out, it does not suck as much as that, but my jaw is still sore. For all of you that don't know what is involved with getting a tooth implant put in I shall tell you. What they do is wherever the open spot is where you do not have a tooth, they make an incision and then they take a drill and drill a hole into your jaw bone. Once that part is done they take a little titanium socket, I guess you could call it, and screw that into the hole they drilled. Then they close you up and you are good to go home and sleep the numbness off. It has to heal for about 3 months so the bone has time to bond to that little piece of metal and once that is done the open you back up and screw a little notch into the socket and adhere a fake tooth to it. So that is what I shall be experiencing in the next few months to come. Except I still need to get another one put in.
But if you have experienced any kind of surgery with the jaw you know the pain effects your entire head, so I have had somewhat of a headache all weekend and have been sleepy since my body is focusing a lot of energy on that little part. But swelling has gone down and I can finally open my mouth almost all the way, but my jaw still hurts and have been taking motrin, which I have finally been able to reduce the dosage to 2 tablets instead of 4.
Well that is my little quirp on my experiences in the past few days and now that I have finished with my little moaning and groaning session we can move onto better things.
The role play that was going to be rebooted is finally up and running! Which makes me happy. I also only have to work 3 days this week, YAY!
I also managed to find a very awesome gift for my friend for our secret Santa. They are cups that have gazelles painted on them, why is this awesome you may ask, well I shall explain. In my senior year of high school during one of those dress up days during homecoming week there was a safari day. Well being seniors we took part in almost all the days since it was our last year, and we each had a different animal we dressed up as and those animal themes have stuck through to look for awesome gifts in those animal themes. Well my friends animal was a gazelle, cause well he runs like a gazelle and is about as thin as one too. (Mine was a tiger in case you were wondering) Well if you haven't noticed there isn't a lot of things out there that have gazelles on them. My mom and I were at this little second hand shop in town and just looking at things, I found this set of cups with Gazelles on them and I got them for like 5 bucks for a set of 6. So this is why they are totally awesome. XD
I think this is all the ramblings I have for today, so who knows when I shall give you some more, but some time this week I shall be making zebra and tiger cheesecake so maybe I shall take some pics and show you guys how they turned out.
SO Happy Ramblings to all
But if you have experienced any kind of surgery with the jaw you know the pain effects your entire head, so I have had somewhat of a headache all weekend and have been sleepy since my body is focusing a lot of energy on that little part. But swelling has gone down and I can finally open my mouth almost all the way, but my jaw still hurts and have been taking motrin, which I have finally been able to reduce the dosage to 2 tablets instead of 4.
Well that is my little quirp on my experiences in the past few days and now that I have finished with my little moaning and groaning session we can move onto better things.
The role play that was going to be rebooted is finally up and running! Which makes me happy. I also only have to work 3 days this week, YAY!
I also managed to find a very awesome gift for my friend for our secret Santa. They are cups that have gazelles painted on them, why is this awesome you may ask, well I shall explain. In my senior year of high school during one of those dress up days during homecoming week there was a safari day. Well being seniors we took part in almost all the days since it was our last year, and we each had a different animal we dressed up as and those animal themes have stuck through to look for awesome gifts in those animal themes. Well my friends animal was a gazelle, cause well he runs like a gazelle and is about as thin as one too. (Mine was a tiger in case you were wondering) Well if you haven't noticed there isn't a lot of things out there that have gazelles on them. My mom and I were at this little second hand shop in town and just looking at things, I found this set of cups with Gazelles on them and I got them for like 5 bucks for a set of 6. So this is why they are totally awesome. XD
I think this is all the ramblings I have for today, so who knows when I shall give you some more, but some time this week I shall be making zebra and tiger cheesecake so maybe I shall take some pics and show you guys how they turned out.
SO Happy Ramblings to all
Monday, December 13, 2010
The World Goes Round...
This saying has probably helped me get through the past week or two. Nothing bad has really happened in the past few weeks, just a bunch of little things have piled up and made things a bit on the shitty side. Mainly just a bit of friend drama, things not working out the way I hope they would, and a busy schedule leaving me a bit on the drained side. So that combo of stuff has just left me a little on the lower side of happiness scale. Negativity has also been surrounding me lately it seems so that is never a great way to keep the spirits up.
But I went to a Tonic Sol-Fa concert this past weekend and that totally helped for a mood booster. If you have never listened to them they are awesome and in fact won an Emmy about three weeks ago. The Twin Cities also got a shit ton of snow, I am so jealous. They got around 20 inches of snow over the weekend, it would have been fun to get some of that up here. As I have stated before I love snow, the more we get the more it feels like Christmas time.
I get to have an implant put in my mouth this Friday, which means I only have a four day week of work, then next week only three days since it shall be holiday time, which means no school, which means my after school program will not be taking place. The break shall be nice and will hopefully let me reboot and be able to deal with the little devils ;)
This Christmas holiday will also hopefully bring about some resolutions on the friend drama part. I don't understand why people that are really upset with an issue don't talk to the person they are upset with. Just doesn't make sense to me. It just leads to build up and a bigger issue than it would need to be if were only addressed right away. I know there are always circumstances, but this is a circumstance where things really just need to be talked out and people need to work on understanding the others point on this thing. The problem is I have stubborn friends, we all are stubborn including myself, but some more than others. And I am the kind of person that if something big is bugging me I tell the person, its also the fact that I have a somewhat blunt personality, beating around the bush just becomes annoying. Though it usually takes a lot to really bug me.
So that is some of the shit I am dealing with right now, so lets move onto a bit more happy things..
The role play that was potentially going to die... Is going to be rebooted! YAY! Which means I don't have to abandon my beloved character. I have also found another rp that may be fun to join. Yay the beginning creation of a new character.
Another plus one of my coworkers just came in and gave me a bag of goodies, that has officially made my day ^^ Now I wanna go make Spritz cookies with my dad, aww the memories.
My office is starting to smell really good, the nutrition people must be cooking some test recipe, hopefully we get to try some...mmmm....
But for now it shall be cold pizza and sunflower seeds for lunch, yum.
Well I think I have officially rambled all that I can out of my head, so that is all for this one and I may get a post out later this week, possibly Friday after my implant procedure so I can tell you all about the gory details. Also if anyone is ever interested in trying their hand at role playing let me know and I can hook you up :)
From your fellow rambler
Hence ^^
But I went to a Tonic Sol-Fa concert this past weekend and that totally helped for a mood booster. If you have never listened to them they are awesome and in fact won an Emmy about three weeks ago. The Twin Cities also got a shit ton of snow, I am so jealous. They got around 20 inches of snow over the weekend, it would have been fun to get some of that up here. As I have stated before I love snow, the more we get the more it feels like Christmas time.
I get to have an implant put in my mouth this Friday, which means I only have a four day week of work, then next week only three days since it shall be holiday time, which means no school, which means my after school program will not be taking place. The break shall be nice and will hopefully let me reboot and be able to deal with the little devils ;)
This Christmas holiday will also hopefully bring about some resolutions on the friend drama part. I don't understand why people that are really upset with an issue don't talk to the person they are upset with. Just doesn't make sense to me. It just leads to build up and a bigger issue than it would need to be if were only addressed right away. I know there are always circumstances, but this is a circumstance where things really just need to be talked out and people need to work on understanding the others point on this thing. The problem is I have stubborn friends, we all are stubborn including myself, but some more than others. And I am the kind of person that if something big is bugging me I tell the person, its also the fact that I have a somewhat blunt personality, beating around the bush just becomes annoying. Though it usually takes a lot to really bug me.
So that is some of the shit I am dealing with right now, so lets move onto a bit more happy things..
The role play that was potentially going to die... Is going to be rebooted! YAY! Which means I don't have to abandon my beloved character. I have also found another rp that may be fun to join. Yay the beginning creation of a new character.
Another plus one of my coworkers just came in and gave me a bag of goodies, that has officially made my day ^^ Now I wanna go make Spritz cookies with my dad, aww the memories.
My office is starting to smell really good, the nutrition people must be cooking some test recipe, hopefully we get to try some...mmmm....
But for now it shall be cold pizza and sunflower seeds for lunch, yum.
Well I think I have officially rambled all that I can out of my head, so that is all for this one and I may get a post out later this week, possibly Friday after my implant procedure so I can tell you all about the gory details. Also if anyone is ever interested in trying their hand at role playing let me know and I can hook you up :)
From your fellow rambler
Hence ^^
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